I loved you

Who's gonna give a shit?
who's gonna take the call
when you find out that the road ahead
is painted on a wall
and you're turned up to top volume
and you're just sitting there in pause
with your feral little secret
scratching at you with its claws
and you're trying hard to figure out
just exactly how you feel
before you end up parked and sobbing
forehead on the steering wheel

who are you now
and who were you then
that you thought somehow
you could just pretend
that you could figure it all out
the mathematics of regret
so it takes two beers to remember now
and five to forget

that i loved you so

yeah, i loved you, so what?

how many times undone
can one person be
as they're careening through the facade
of their favorite fantasy
you just close your eyes slowly
like you're waiting for a kiss
and hope some lowly little power
will pull you out of this
but none comes at first
and little comes at all 

and when inspiration finally hits you
it barely even breaks your fall.

who were you then?
and who are you
now that you can't pretend
that you can figure it all out
subtract out the impact
and the fall is all you get
so it takes two beers to remember now
and three more to forget
that i loved you so
yeah, i loved you, so what
i loved you
so what?

Victory is an elusive whore.

Behold your virgin who uttered the oracle

Who now only musters up indifference.

My most beloved supplicant,

Your journey is over.

The visit was unnecessary.

I predicted your return home to be bitter,
Days have passed
What have you found?
Have you finally perfected the plan to fake your life away?

Stick to it more than ever
Embrace it, a worthless buoy
Your anchored body, with a yellow drifting heart

Defeat was in your house since the first day

And your preparation and its climax only served to highlight your continued misery

My life continues on the tripod
and upon the eve of your triumphant race
Your cowardly brothers arrived with the same demands and tired offerings

I stood tall, unknowingly
Bearing witness to your failures with laurel leaves

My divination leaving neither one of us closer to the goal

You've been your own sacrifice

And by the same means, you've also been mine

Late night, I am often caught up in the frenzy

Solitary, but divine.

See the original version here.

But you were such a super guy 'til the second you get a whiff of me

Fiona Apple always breaks down exactly what is happening, before it happens.

Werewolf


I could liken you to a werewolf the way you left me for dead
But I admit that I provided a full moon
And I could liken you to a shark the way you bit off my head
But then again I was waving around a bleeding, open wound

But you were such a super guy 'til the second you get a whiff of me
We are like a wishing well and a bolt of electricity
But we can still support each other, all we gotta do's avoid each other
Nothing wrong when a song ends in a minor key
Nothing wrong when a song ends in a minor key

The lava of the volcano shot up hot from under the sea
One thing leads to another and you made an island of me

And I could liken you to a chemical the way you made me compound a compound
But I'm a chemical, too, inevitable you and me would mix
And I could liken you to a lot of things but I always come around
'Cause in the end I'm a sensible girl, I know the fiction of the fix

But you were such a super guy 'til the second you get a whiff of me
We are like a wishing well and a bolt of electricity
But we can still support each other, all we gotta do's avoid each other
Nothing wrong when a song ends in a minor key
Nothing wrong when a song ends in a minor key
Nothing wrong when a song ends in a minor key
Nothing wrong when a song ends in a minor key

Love letter

My beloved Frida,

It's no exaggeration
I was electric
It is you to be alive
Touching a current warm like water
Thick as blood
Immense happiness
A splendid warm day
That sadness permeates
Open now
Penetrated
Sweat dripping
Mind reeling
Oh woman
I know the feeling
I have loved you for so long
So sit here while I cry
Tourists passing me
Watching me
Count the tears
Bitterly
Shaking releasing taking in
Still coming
Sweet
I've arrived to your garden
Sat under your trees
Found the picture of his
Pondered the imprint of your lips upon his face
Reminds me of a day
That he kissed you like he kissed me
You painted a picture to fill my eyes
I see the hurt and the heart and inside their heads
I thought of you, darling
Your reflection above the bed
All the pain, unimaginable
The greatness of heaven you've given
Distilled through all the agony of hell
I knew you crushed and ravished
Still strong as you could be
You've been my muse, my lover
My teacher, over and over
Everything.
Blessedly wild
Always unmeasured.


Passionately yours,

Esperanza

A mi me vale madres!

My horoscope today said this:

Poison from the past looks you in the face every day. If you're carrying around the phone numbers, email address and other contact information of love gone bad, today's a great day to delete irrelevant information. Usher in a new era of good energy.


Which is something I absolutely need to do.

I'm packing up all of my bad energy away and sending it to the moon.

An open letter, to anyone taking it to heart:

I'm not going to destroy anyone, not going to stoop so low as to share any sort of your terrible secrets, all the things that keep you up at night, that wake you up early and drive you from your bed. When you're in that hurricane, smiling through a miserable life, eating shit, living in the shadow of happiness, there is nothing-NOTHING that I could to to make your life worse. You're already in hell, and you know it. There is only one path to follow for you. Keep faking like it's all ok even though you feel rotten inside.You have made your bed, many of them. Lie in them, all of them and try to feel alive, remember what life was when you were free-I don't think you'll have much success. Ponder the sacrifices you are making, the risks you are taking for someone who doesn't love you and never will. What I gave to you, you are giving to them and all you'll end up is empty-hmmm emptier. So sad for you, living a shell of a life.

When you're thrown out like garbage, and trust me, you will be cast aside soon enough- don't think I'll pick you up again. You're on your own, stranger.


Think of the risks you took for someone who doesn't give a shit about you. And remember me, because I told you, you can't unring a bell once you've heard it.


You, and all your sadness, all your baggage, all your problems, all your cowardice, all your inability to face the music, on a rocket to the moon.

¡Ni un paso atrás!

I want to play
A little game
I want to tell all your stories
Full phrases
The expressions on the faces
Give names
I want to sell the world all your secrets
And there’ll be no detail too small
I know I need to out myself
To out you
Let’s go
I’m not afraid to go down with the ship
Don’t bother to make me an offer
As surely I will refuse
I’ll watch while you attempt to continue to consume the world
“Keep playing with little girls, you’re gonna have problems”
And when I told you
I thought that you knew, my darling
I'm a little girl too
I’m going to have my way
I’ll have back
Everything you’ve ever taken
Oh yes, I want to play
I still have
With your name attached
All the things
You ever said
Not one step back my little soldier