You got the world, but baby at what price?

Sometimes I feel everything, every ache, every thought, and every emotion. Sometimes it is very still inside and I think that whatever was, what used to be…what I used to be has died. I can't be sad about it, it's a relief.  I don't want anything like that alive, things that sick shouldn't have legs, shouldn't be out creeping around.

But there is a memory that still exists. You're so very near me that afternoon, I can smell you, I recall the taste of your mouth as you hover. I look at you, I flash a smile. You try to read me so I shut down and you're confused.

We have exactly what we deserve in life, don't we darling? You don't deserve anything of mine anymore. Every time you feel a hypnic jerk you think of me, the smell of incense, my head being thrown back, my body snapping like a rubber band, screaming in pain, you listened to me scream in pain. When you handed over the cash calculating...you paid what you make in an hour to have my bones cracked, and a bit of pain purged. I left a smudge of blood colored lipstick on your favorite shirt, because I had to hold you and cry and forgive you. You held me like a child, and said my name over and over. Dead, everything was dead but so raw and painful and alive.

As of late, you are more broken and defeated than I've ever seen you. It's sad and satisfying at the same time. I used to love you so and now I feel empty, just a lonely echo where there was once a sweet song.

I forgive you for the broken heart. I don't forgive you for wasting my time.


Fevers and gifts

I did as I was asked
And now halfway between home and Hades
In the middle of the night
There is a woman wrapped in sheets and fever
Listening to the flutter of minute wings
Trapped among the glass and the shades
A word, a sensation
I can feel that moment before flight
Your name that graces my lips
As I descend into fitful sleep
I wake up dizzy and restless
But there is nothing quite as sweet as this
I did
I ate of your fruit
Dreams of insistence, sanguine
As you asked of me
And now you must follow through
I am Persephone
And I am ready to be consumed.


There will never be accountability for a man who was never taught what it means to want.

In back rooms there are secrets
All sorts of things to make us sick
And behind locked doors and afternoons blurred
He held me against my will
A film over the window
Don't dare scream
What would they say?
I'd be at fault
Because I only dared to put up a weak and watery fight
And in the end count myself lucky,
Dangerous games that lead to this
I'd like to say I am better than a tale told in shadow
That I am a particular girl
But in the end I'm just a slab of meat
No different than any other repository that came before
or that will suffer the same fate
An unfortunate mix of ethanol and protein
The lady doth protest?
I see no lady before me!
So kneel
In a nature of prayer
Consider yourself poised for greatness
Consider yourself blessed
What is there to tell?
You cried wolf one too many times
And finally he came out to charge